Second: Write about it.
Divide a piece of paper into five columns. You may need several sheets of paper to complete your inventory.
Column 1: The Person—list the person or object you resent or fear. Go as far back as you can. Remember that resentment is mostly unexpressed anger, hurt, or fear.
Column 2: The Cause—It’s been said that “hurt people hurt people.” List the specific actions someone did to hurt you.
Column 3: The Effect—Write how that specific, hurtful action affected your life both in the past and in the present.
Column 4: The Damage—Write which of your basic needs were injured. Social—have you suffered from broken relationships, slander or gossip? Security—Has your physical safety been threatened? Sexual—Have you been a victim in abusive relationships/ Has intimacy or trust been damaged or broken?
Column 5: My Part—Honestly determine and write down the part of the resentment or any other sin or injury that you are responsible for. Ask God to show you your part in a broken or damaged relationship, a distant child or parent, or maybe a job loss. List people you have hurt and how you specifically hurt them. NOTE: If you’ve been in an abusive relationship, especially as a small child, you can find great freedom in this part of the inventory. You’ll see that you had no part, no responsibility, for the cause of the resentment. Simply write the words “NONE” or “NOT GUILTY” in column 5, and you can begin to free misplaced shame and guilt you’ve carried.

Third: Share about it
In your “write about it” action step, you spent some serious time listing some difficult truths. Now it’s time to share those truths with a trusted friend. Go through the five columns and share them all. This is the second part of choice 4: “openly confess your faults to someone you trust.” Take your time and have courage as you go through your list.

The Person—the one or ones you resent or fear.
The Cause—the reason you hurt.
The Effect—both past and present effects.
The Damage—how you were hurt
My Part—here you take ownership for your role in
the problem, large or small.

Remember, saying the words aloud untangles the thoughts in your head, giving them shape and enabling you to face them productively. After you’ve shared these five topics, take a minute with your friend and thank God for full forgiveness.
Special Note: Be careful to safeguard your inventory; this list is no one’s business but yours, God’s, and the special person you choose to share it with.